This conversation actually happened:

Me: Damnit…. Good evening officer. How are you doing?

Meterman: Oh… Uh.... Pretty good. How are you? This your car?

Me: Yeah. Shoot. I just ran in for a little bit.

Meterman: Yeah. Had you been a few minutes sooner, I could have let you off with a warning.

Me: Shoot. I had been on my way out then something had caught my eye. I didn’t even realize I still needed to pay the meter this late. What time does it go until?

Meterman: Yeah. It’s until 10. What state is your license plate from?

Me: Illinois. How bad is the ticket going to be?

Meterman: Illinois? What are you doing out here? Are you visiting family?

Me: No. I just moved out here to teach.

Meterman: Really? What school?

Me: St. Peter’s. So how bad is the ticket?

Meterman: It’s only 25 bucks. So are you married?

Me: Um… No. I moved out here on a whim. I really don’t know anyone here.

Meterman: So what do you think of it out here?

Me: Well, you guys are a lot tougher with parking tickets.

Meterman: What?... oh right. well I mean, how do you like the girls compared to those in Illinois.

Me: Well. I guess they’re different.

Meterman: How so?

Me: Hmm. I think the girls in Illinois are a little cuter than the girls out here. The girls out here are….

Meterman: Sluttier?

Me: Um. No. I guess I was trying to say they’re…

Meterman: They’re pretty slutty.

Me: Yeah. I guess.

Meterman: I just trying to figure out if that beach boys song is true. You know what I’m talking about?

Me: Yeah. I know the song.

Meterman: You know. About California girls.

Me: Yeah.

Meterman: I think girls on the east coast are totally hot.

Me: Yeah. I guess they are.

Meterman: Much hotter than California girls.

Me: Yup.

Meterman: So what’s your name?

Me: Dan

Meterman: I’m Chris. So I guess I’ll be seeing you around.

Me: Yeah.

Meterman: And I know your car now so….

Me: Yeah, you sure do.

Meterman: If you see me around, don’t be a stranger. Be sure to say 'Hi'.

Me: Alright Chris, I'll do that.

Meterman: See ya! (hands me the ticket).

The "officers notes" sections reads (Land of Lincoln.